The hallmark for me of a true luxury hotel is intuitive, unobtrusive, and unpretentious service. This is the kind of service which anticipates your needs and pays attention to the smallest of details. The hotel stay is customized to your needs and runs according to your schedule, and not the hotel's. I say this because there are many upscale hotels which offer impressive rooms (brand new and high quality furnishings, large bathrooms with separate stall showers and spa tubs) and amenities (large LCD or Plasma TVs). These hotels do not necessarily offer the best service in mainly due to staffing -- the number of staff per room and the training of the staff. These hotels are in no means bad hotels; in my book these are not luxury hotels, but still very good hotels nevertheless. This is, I believe, the distinction between a 5 star hotel (one with all the cutting edge amenities but may be lacking on service) and a luxury hotel (which may, and increasingly will have, all the amenities but with the foundation based on service).
An example of the kind of service I believe anticipates my needs is the the hotel which offer 1 hour pressing and 4 hour express laundry 24 hours a day for no additional fee over normal laundry costs. Many hotels, even in the luxury level, do not offer this kind of service, especially on weekends. When I check into a hotel Sunday afternoon and I need my suit cleaned or pressed, I am usually out of luck until Monday morning when I need my suit for a meeting, etc. The hotels who offer this service have thought about my convenience -- needing my suit pressed or cleaned in time for Monday morning -- over theirs.
In my travels, Luxury hotels are the ones which tailor the hotel stay to you. The smallest attention to detail -- like being addressed by name in the hallways; the orchid in the bedroom; the room service attendant pouring tea or coffee for you during breakfast; the restaurant server remembering you like Earl Grey tea with lemon; or the hotel knowing you are celebrating an important occasion and do what they can to make it special, are the things one typically remembers most about a stay. That stay became yours and to me that is what luxury is about.
